I was already in love, but one giant indicator was telling me to run far away: he was just that very second getting out of a long-term relationship with someone who liked to kayak as much as he did. I was about as outdoorsy as Zsa Zsa Gabor, without the wealth or good manners with police officers, and I had never been in a relationship that lasted longer that a Daft Punk song.
"I think Pete needs a little time to figure out who he is," M said wisely.
She was right, but another thing I'm no good at is being patient, so I damned the torpedoes and continued to flirt with my future boyfriend.
After a few cutesy lunches and walks around our mutual workplace in Burnaby, Pete was inspired to lend me a book of Vancouver walks with his name and number written inside the cover and then waited for me to figure out it was a silent invitation and not an indication of his fear of having his precious guidebooks ne'er returned.
More than 13 years later, I'm still mad about the boy, and want to hang out with him every day and go for long walks.
Pete took some time off this week because we haven't had any extended opportunities since my re-diagnosis in February to just be, sans kids. No cancer shizzle. No schmoop. No talk of what kind of stripper he'll marry if I can't crush this thing as expected. Not that we deteriorate into that stuff on the regular, but sometimes, between the kids and his work and the general running of our lives, we have to cram in a bit of everything in the couple of hours we steal for each other at night.
With entire days to fill with just hanging out, I forgot about il cancro. Like, almost completely at times.
It generally never goes away entirely, which I don't mean to make sound dire, but when you're trying to be badass, you have to be diligent, which means staying well is always top of mind. I don't wake up crying into my Holly Hobbie pillowcase or go to bed depressed, but on most days, cancer is an agenda item that I'm ticking off over and over again, and it gets a bit much.
The respite with Pete has been glorious, especially since I've been feeling completely fantastic for the first time in months. We lunched, shopped, walked, talked, cooked, cleaned, watched ridiculous Italian travel shows, and just generally enjoyed being boyfriend and girlfriend.
I also fell in love again for the 20,000th time, in a slightly different way that can only come with the shit we've been through together.
But more than anything else, I lived like a person without this blasted disease. Thanks for the mini-break, Mr. P.
this makes me very happy. i remember always worrying about you and when you'd meet Mr. Right. all it took was a move to the mainland, and voila, i hear about this wonderful man. you deserve the best and you got him (and he's got the best too, in you! XO
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no. I really only told you that to make him seem more unavailable, and thus, more attractive to a doll comme toi. I was trying to do him a favour. I knew he was already totally smitten. How could he not have been!
ReplyDeleteI still remember the first time you told us about the super guy you met and fell for immediately. Your visit with him to meet us was an important step! We decided right away that he was a good choice!
ReplyDeleteAnd I still remember that very first date...that lasted something like 15 hours. I knew it then...even *I* knew that you two were something to be forever. Beautiful post, beautiful couple. Gave me utter hope in love, committment and devotion from that very first day in January. xoxoxo
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